Choosing The Right Phenotype: Tangerine Dream

Some of you who have grower knowl already know exactly what I’m talking about. A phenotype is what determines the characteristics and traits of a certain kind of strain. The mother produces a bunch of seeds. Once they mature and flower, you will notice that some are taller, some are bushier, some smell different or feel a bit different but they all still have the essence of the strain.  You know, like a bunch of sisters that resemble each other but look different at the same time. And just like sisters, there is always that special one who got the better genetics and more often than not, that’s the one you want. In this case we have six different types of Tangerine Dream. I got a 3.5 of EACH phenotype and the following is a report of my honest opinion on my experience with this 2010 Cannabis Cup winner.

Barney’s Coffeeshop had the brilliant idea of crossing G13 and Neville’s breeder strain A5 and then crossing the result with G13 again to make the legendary Tangerine Dream. It’s a sativa-dominant known for its powerful medical attributes. It is often used for relieving stress but can also be consumed to help with anxiety, nausea and depression. Plus, this shit smells and tastes like fucking oranges. No word of a lie, it’s not some high school rumour from the basketball court. This shit 169{b29860ee6b7af5bf99d3058cca3182816eed414b47dab251265e93b8c00e69b1} legit smells like oranges…

Phenotype A was significantly different from the other types. It was a lot more fluffy and had a distinct smell. Type A also had the nicest bag appeal. If this was a girl, she would be tall and slender but have just enough meat in all the right places…

Mmm… Look at that shit. I just want to stuff my face in it and do the motorboat…

Some faint traces of baby puke smell were coming through after putting it to some scissors. I love it when weed smells like baby puke.

First stop, Voyage Funkstastique with DJ Walla P (I’m listening to this shit live on CHOQ as I write this), which is currently my favorite radio show in town, hands down. I have not updated my music in years because of YouTube so I’ve had the same playlist since 2009 on my iTunes. This is perfect for lazy stoners like myself because I can either catch it live or bump that shit later from the SoundCloud. I can also bump any of the previous mixes from the archives, which is amazing.

Aight, so this was the first spliff from the whole shebang. The taste, very sour. Not harsh at all, smooth as baby’s shit. Almost tasted like a dark red wine at times. Definitely a hint of rotten fruit in there. The intense orange flavor gave it a shisha-type of smell once burnt.  All good things.

While we out here testing weed on school grounds, The legendary Vai-K is studying sociology and together we will CHANGE THE WORLD… Respect. Shortly after this photo was taken the security guard politely asked us to go smoke this shit outside school premises, which leads me to the next point: The high. Very chill high, zero anxiety whatsoever, not even when the security dude was talking to us. We got very stoned but not wrecked, which is also very cool. The funk blasting out the speakers was increasing our high, which didn’t last long but was very well-balanced to my personal liking. It was kind of like a horny teen: Goes hard but won’t last long…

I had to get a third opinion to make sure that CeasRock and I weren’t just fanning out on the realness of this life so I let my brother EF hit it and this is what he had to say:

EF: The Tangerine Dream was heavenly felt. It sure tasted like fresh oranges from Florida. The PH level wasn’t in balance tho, a bit too acidic for my personal tastes. On the other hand, the chronic was coming into my lungs with much smoothness. Big puffs, no coughing… It was perfect. I tend to cough a lot when I’m puffing strong-ass exotic weed without a piece of tobacco. The buzz was one of the cleanest I’ve tasted in years of blowing trees. No paranoia, no anxiety attacks, only madness and euphoria. The type of buzz that keeps you alert and focused when concentration is needed. The best weed to smoke right before going to the dentist or crossing the USA-Canada border.

As you can see, our accounts are very similar. I was not making this shit up. This is the real deal and type A was one of my personal favorites. It’s early summer in Montreal, I’m going to be doing some heavy All-City Chilling so I need something that can hold me down from early morning to early morning without tearing me apart. From a market’s perspective, maybe not the number-one choice. She had booty but the booty was kind of loose, so to speak. Overall, a solid 7.5/10 for me on type A…

When I’m not stoned, all I think about is the WOS. When I smoke good dope I just walk around smiling at the dumbest shit…

But what about our taxes???

Type B

Type B had the most dense nugs out the bunch.  Here, you can compare type B above and type A below. You can see type A has a lot more bag appeal but was in every other way inferior in terms of overall quality of the product. Things to consider…

Highly recommended deal in NDG if ever you’re at Girouard and want to have a quick lunch without spending more than $10. Right on the Northwest corner of Girouard and Sherbrooke in the Polish deli/bakery you can get a thick-ass sandwich with a ponki and a drink of your choice for $9 flat.

Respect that shit like where you came from…

Chilling in Girouard park for 15 constitutive summers, I’ve seen my neighborhood transform from “No Damn Good” to “Now Doing Great”. On one hand, I’m happy that the community is prospering and that the place is more safe for the squares but, this comes with a price for people like us who just like to hang out with a few spliffs and a few beers without bothering nobody. That day we got harassed on two different occasions by cops who are putting pressure on chilleurs for smoking and drinking in parks. Both times, they failed at doing anything about it but the harassment is unappreciated to say the least. Circling around the cypher on their corny mountain bikes looking for a reason to fuck with a mook. GET LOST! This was never an issue when there were real badmandem in the park back in the day. All this to say, even with these cocksuckers trying to kill my high, I was well bent and not worried about shit. No paranoia, no anxiety. This strain is truly magical.

Phenotype C. The most frosty one out of the bunch. If this was a girl, she would have big, bright eyes and a big, sparkly smile (and her pussy would smell like oranges from the heavens).

Weed is so romantic. When the female plant matures to the age where she could get fucked, she starts producing this tantalizing substance to attract male plants. We deprive them of sex so they just keep getting more and more horny until we chop them down, undress them, cure them then consume them to get high.

Phenotype C definitely packed a loud punch to the neck but nothing that can’t be handled by a certified pothead. Sweet as a motherfucker and very zesty. Vitamin C…

Shout-out to Jerk Chicken, Ox Tail and Curry Goat. Also, shout-out to spots who sell pure coconut water and even better if it comes without pulp. Respect!

Creative control. This shit had me walking around Ottawa all amazed like I’m in a foreign country. Everything became interesting and each situation was an episode from a strange movie I made up in my head as things went along…

You know you’re in a stoner’s crib when this shit happens…

Bag appeal on this type was prob second best to A. Phenotype D had a distinct bud formation, different from its sisters. If this was a girl, she would be a cute, bubbly immigrant shorty with dope features. Thick lips and thick hips…

According to my notes, this was the most earthy and tangy type from the bunch. It kind of reminded me some top-notch Freezeland from back in the day. I would say it had the strongest test and was the harshest to smoke out of the litter.

Hit up some sort of yearly garage sale thing in Ottawa… Pure entertainment the whole time. Usually at events like this I just hate everyone but super zooted on this TD I was having fun people watching, observing and documenting.

Stereotypical Ottawa dude…

Owned by a dog…

She thought that I was looking at this…

When in reality, I was looking at this…

Time warp…

Thank you Google…

I failed at taking notes for Phenotype E and this is the only documented image of our encounter. If you don’t remember the sex it was probably not that spectacular… NEXT!

Oh boy… F for Femme… F for Facials… F for Fucking… F for Fingering pissflaps… F for fellatio… F for Fantastic… Type F for FAVORITE!

Even though it had the smallest bag appeal, phenotype F had every other category on lock.

Pretty much everything about her was fabulous. The bitch looked like a Cannabis Cup winner. This one was a notch above all these other sluts. She had class and elegance. She possessed an enticing allure capable of satisfying most men. Shining bright but in a humble manner, smelling sweet but not too sour, so tempting she beguiles and puts you in a trance.

Classic Montreal shit right here. Good ol’ Chinatown rooftops… What a great place to test some weed. SKIDDIT…

Love to see these gems, preserved for the enjoyment of the few who understand and appreciate the value of this.

For all you 14 year-old mooks reading this, pay attention to this convenient trick that will allows you to roll spliffs virtually anywhere without a problem.

“Le weed est vraiment fucking bon”…

What more can I say? This shit was on point from A to Z. Solid 9 outta 10. Type F is definitely BAE….

Those eyes don’t lie.

Choosing the right phenotype is like choosing the right BAE. You want someone reliable, someone that will hold you down. Preferably someone exotic and exclusive. You don’t want what everyone already has in their pocket. Must be clean and healthy, no bugs or seeds. Someone who inspires you rather than bores you. Someone who calms you down rather than causing drama. A person who smells good and knows how to have fun. Someone with respect, character and a sense of humor. Many important aspects to consider before entering a long-term relationship. This is why it’s important to taste all flavours (multiple times) before making that commitment. Hope you learned something…

SOURCE: MOOK-LIFE – Read entire story here.